Choose Your Companions Well

“He who walks with wise men will be wise,

But the companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Proverbs 13:20

Who you hang with matters!

Spend time with fools, and it will surely bring you trouble. “The companion of fools will suffer harm.” Sometimes the harm may be ‘guilt by association’ and its attendant damage to your reputation. Other times the more tangible repercussions of your friends’ actions will slosh over upon you (your reckless friend crashes your car, for instance). And, worst of all (and I think probably what Solomon has primarily in mind), “the companion of fools” will often find their very foolishness rubbing off on him.

On the other hand, spending time with the wise has a rubbing off effect as well! “He who walks with wise men will be wise”! Solid, wise, God-fearing companions will have a good effect on what we think and how we live.

For better or for worse, says Solomon, our companions will rub off on us! So choose your companions well!

And let me say (influenced by Iain Murray’s The Undercover Revolution*) that surely this rubbing off principle applies, not only to our physical companions, but also to what we might call our virtual companions – those people whose company we may regularly place ourselves via television, movies, social media, song, magazines, radio, books, and video games.

If you regularly watch a particular television program, for instance – the men and women behind the content of that show become, in some ways, your companions. Their worldviews (and potentially agendas), passed on through the medium of that show, are washing regularly over your mind and heart. And, like water washing regularly over a piece of ground, these worldviews are bound to have an effect. If the ideas conveyed are wholesome and godly, then the effect will be a good one … shaping the clay of your heart more into conformity to God’s wisdom. But if their worldviews are unhealthy and foolish (for instance, in the belittling of certain people, or in how they portray gender roles, or sexuality, or the use of money), then you open yourself up to the eroding effect of the thinking of these, your chosen companions. Because the norms of those with whom you spend a good deal of time will tend to become your own.

The same could also be said of the kinds of authors you read, the people you follow most closely on social media, the song-writers whose lyrics and videos you admire, and even the creators of the games that you play.

And so … What if we determined to choose wise virtual companions – people who fear God, and whose worldviews and agendas therefore align with a biblical worldview? What if we read books written by the wise, and listened to podcasts created by the wise, and so on? What if we set aside our regular virtual ‘hanging out’ with people of faulty worldviews, and began to be the virtual companions of a much more God-fearing set of people? How would it affect us? Answer: “He who walks with wise men will be wise.”

This is not to say that you can’t learn anything from unbelievers, nor enjoy some of their art, or humor, or creativity. But it is to say that people of foolish worldviews shouldn’t be our companions; they shouldn’t be those with whom we walk; we shouldn’t make them our close friends – not even virtually. We shouldn’t spend a great deal of time imbibing the worldviews of those who don’t fear the Lord. And we should spend lots of time being rubbed off upon by the wise!

So choose your companions well!

_____________________________

*Murray points out how, through the medium of novels, ungodly authors in the past had a devastating influence on the culture that read them, and how we need always to beware such infiltration of our minds and hearts. Having learned from him how ungodly people can influence us through their creative works, I apply that lesson in this article.

"Locusts and wild honey"

Such was the diet of John the Baptist (Mark 1:6 and Matthew 3:4) as he preached in the wilderness in the days leading up to the coming of Christ – “locusts and wild honey”!

Wait … whaaat? “Locusts and wild honey”? Why that?

Well, the commentators William Hendriksen and R.T. France inform us that, if you were going to live in the Ancient Near Eastern wilderness, this was the sort of culinary fare that would be available to you! Evidently pastas and pestos were not on the desert menu! But “locusts and wild honey” could be gathered here and there. And so John, needing to eat, scared up what vittles he could find!

But why was John out in the wilderness – and thus limited to such a diet – in the first place? Well, John, having come in the prophetic tradition of Elijah, was necessarily roughhewn. He had not been sent to deliver fine speeches in royal courts … but to preach against sin! And his rough clothing and wilderness diet were symbolic of that calling.

And then the great commentator William Hendriksen makes this observation about John the Baptist as well:

By means of his simple mode of life, evident with respect to both his food and his clothing, he was a living protest against all selfishness and self-indulgence, hence also against that frivolousness, carelessness, and false security with which many people were rushing toward their doom. (New Testament Commentary: The Gospel of Mark, pp.39-40).

And that is probably the bottom line of John’s dietary habits. They were meant as a silent sermon against the sins of his day. And our lives ought also – in various ways – to be the same.

But as I read, this week, about John’s wilderness menu … it also occurred to me that the simplicity with which he chose to live might also have been quite a help to his own sanctification. The biblical writers don’t, of course, say that this is why John did what he did. But as I think about my own life … and then look at John’s … it occurs to me how many things he probably didn’t have to worry about, living as simply as he did. Life was simpler back then to begin with! But, by choosing to live even more simply than the norm, John perhaps was even more able to “set [his] mind on things above”. By uncluttering his life, perhaps John was able also to unclutter his soul.

Now again, I do not argue that this was John’s primary goal … or even that this was necessarily on his mind at all as he went out into the wilderness. He seems to have gone out there for the sake of others, not himself. But I can’t help but think that the “locusts and wild honey”, and the simple lifestyle that they represent, were perhaps good for John as well. And, even if he didn’t need the help … I can’t help but think that a little more John-like simplicity would be good for you and me!

Am I arguing that we all need to become ascetics, living in monasteries, and eating only bread and water? Absolutely not! John was called to a very unique ministry at a very unique time. And neither of the biblical Testaments require such a lifestyle of the bulk of God’s people. In fact, the New Testament has a lot to say about feasting!

But what if we were even just a little more like John? What if we disentangled ourselves from some commitments, and gadgets, and habits that only serve to make us more distracted, more tired, more nerve-wracked … and which decrease our attention spans, and our ability to be generous, and our desire for the word of God? What if some of us simplified our digital intake the way John simplified his diet? And what if we cleared our schedules so as not to be spending 5-6 evenings a week going to this meeting, and that extra-curricular, and so on? What if we streamlined our spending and cut out some of the waste? What, in other words, if our personal devotions were not rushed through before jetting off to work, or slept through because we tried to cram them in at the end of a too-busy day? What if we had time to eat our meals together as families, and to engage in meaningful (rather than hurried) family devotions? What if we had time to read good books, and even, frankly, to get a little more sleep? What if we had just a little more of a “locusts and wild honey” lifestyle?

Again, I’m not saying we must all go the way of John, wholesale. I don’t believe God calls most of us to do so! Nor am I ignorant of the fact that some levels of busy-ness simply cannot be avoided. There are seasons in life when the best we can do is just hang on, and perhaps listen to the scriptures on our phones as we drive to work. But let’s not settle for that as the long-term norm! Let’s streamline our lives a little bit more – eat a little more “locusts and wild honey”, as it were – and make room for that which is most important.

"Do not lean on your own understanding"

One of the memorable features of my boyhood home was that giant set of books, stretched neatly across a book case that seemed tailor-made for its girth, called the World Book Encyclopedia. Enclosed within brown and beige covers, the set must have run to something like 20 volumes. And blessed is the child who grew up with such a resource at his fingertips! For, if fancy or curiosity posed questions about JFK, or the Ming Dynasty, or the North American Moose, one could simply pull down the appropriate alphabetical volume, thumb through the pages, and read a well-written article to slake the thirst.

But the book case, and the earth tone binding, and all those thousands of pages seem a bit superfluous today, don’t they? After all, I have access to far more data, about many more subjects, in the tiny cell phone in my right-side pants pocket! And, should any research be required for an article such as this one, I can simply click over to my internet browser … and voila, my laptop becomes an encyclopedia par excellence!

And again, blessed is the person who has such easy access to learning of all kinds. Wikipedia is one of my go-to browser bookmarks! And, what with Google, and various newsfeeds, and message boards ... one can instantly find out all sorts of information about almost anything! And so you might find me sometimes tossing into the conversation some out-of-nowhere fact about the Prime Minister of Iceland, or the sheep industry in New Zealand. Information is everywhere! And it’s often quite interesting … and occasionally, even helpful!

But having access to so much information comes with an inherent danger. Because, as we have access to more and more understanding, there is a natural tendency to begin to "lean on" that understanding (Proverbs 3.5); to begin to think that knowledge really is power – that if we simply know enough about X, Y, or Z, then we can handle it. And, if you need an example, ask yourself how many times you have noticed some possible little symptom of ill-health (either in yourself, or in a loved one) … and immediately run to the computer to read half-a-dozen articles (and, even worse, message boards) on the subject. As if reading a few pages enables you to accurately diagnose what physicians have spent years studying! And (more to the point of this article) as if understanding your disease will invariably help you better cope with it. Sometimes that may be true (especially when an actual doctor, or maybe a fellow sufferer, helps you understand it). But it seems to me that, when we go a-researching on our own; when we feel this compulsion to find out all the facts about why there might be a lump on the roof of our child’s mouth … we usually end up working ourselves into more and more of a tizzy! Haven’t you found that to be so? And the same is true when we begin researching tax laws, or trying to privately investigate someone online, or even going into all sorts of deep queries about Bible prophecies. When you give yourself over to these things, you can begin, perhaps subtly, to “lean on your own understanding" ... which is a very faulty prop indeed!

Because “your own understanding” cannot rescue you, can it? First of all, as I have already alluded to, “your own understanding” is often woefully limited! Neither Wikipedia nor World Book qualifies you (or me) as an expert on anything! And second, even if you do have a good grasp of some subject, that knowledge alone will not save you, will it? Knowing all about cancer won’t cure it. Being able to chart your own version of the end-times chronology is no guarantee that you’ll actually be safe when Jesus comes! And knowing more about your co-worker’s life by scouring through her Facebook posts will not usually help you love her with the love of Christ.

For all these things, we must ultimately turn to God … not to research! He is the one who cures cancer, and makes us ready for eternity, and places love in our hearts. He knows more about where America is headed than any political prognosticator ever could. He is the one who can give us peace when our country’s convoluted tax laws have us turned inside out with frustration and fear. And so it is to Him, and not to the internet (or the 20-volume encyclopedia), that we must ultimately turn our attention!

Do not misunderstand me. I am not decrying education, or knowledge, or understanding. I wouldn’t have Wikipedia bookmarked if I thought that were the case! And I’m incredibly thankful for doctors, and accountants, and theologians, and engineers, and lawyers who really do understand certain things in ways that are actually helpful! But Solomon is so wise when he urges us to:

“Trust in the LORD with all your heart

And do not lean on your own understanding”

Proverbs 3.5

Understanding is not a bad thing. But leaning on that understanding, instead of on God, is! Trusting in your own understanding is dangerous. And I am simply saying that, the more information we have at our fingertips; and the quicker our knee-jerk reaction to turn to Google when faced with a dilemma, the more prone we are, not simply to understand, but to think that understanding will solve all our problems. But it won’t. In fact, it often just makes us more neurotic! I know from experience!

So the next time you are worried about a lump on your breast, or some snag in your taxes … call your doctor or accountant, yes. But resist the urge to try and be a doctor or accountant yourself. And, above all, resist the idea that the information you might turn up on the search engines and the message boards is the key to calming your heart’s anxieties. Turn, rather, to the book of Psalms, or to the gospels, or the epistles, or any one of the 66 books in which we hear the voice of God. Engage your mind and heart in an attempt to trust Him! “And do not lean on your own understanding.”